I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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