i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
