She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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