I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
