The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
