im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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