I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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