he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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