she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
