I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
