You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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