Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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