Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize