That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
