Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
