if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize