She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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