Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
