so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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