Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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