I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
