My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Randomize
