Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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