operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i came on her dog
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
