she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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