It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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