woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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