there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
