I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Say something about gay babies.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
