We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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