I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish you could order shots online.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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