Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
