He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
