her vagine was all disorganized.
People in love make me want to vomit
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize