Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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