he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
