i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
