I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
