I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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