Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
