I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize