but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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