marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
