wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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