I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
