i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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