You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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