i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize