So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You were trust falling into bushes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize