Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize