I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize