I'm really into asian looking animals
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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