We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
