I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
