I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize