please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
