after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
