who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
