I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
