I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
