Don't you send me to vm
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
