i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
this hospital has no fireball
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize