It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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